Kids, Don't Try This At Home

aka: How I Got From Siem Reap (Cambodia) to Koh Pha-Ngan (Thailand) in 24 Hours


5:30am - Awoke in my Siem Reap hotel room to my pesky alarm clock, finished packing my bag and decided that trying to fit all one's belongings into a backpack the same way as the day before is a detestable if not impossible task.

7:30am - Caught the 6 hour bus ride back to Phnom Penh, decided that Cambodian television programs must be among the most bizarre in the world and cursed the iPod manufacturers for not inventing a self-recharging battery.

2:00pm - Stepped off the bus in Phnom Penh into a mob scene of travelers and taxi drivers, hailed a cab within 5 minutes and drove 30 minutes to the airport. Have never been so relieved to wait in a security check line before.

4:30pm - Boarded my flight from Phnom Penh to Bangkok, realized that "budget airlines" means "no drink service" and wondered if it's really worth the savings because sometimes you just really want a diet coke dammit.

6:30pm - Disembarked the plane into the now-familiar Bangkok airport, joined forces with two British girls making the same ambitious journey. Treated myself to a Starbucks because sometimes you just want a soy latte dammit.

7:30pm - Acquired our baggage and hailed a cab to take us across town to Hualampong (train station) in Bangkok rush-hour traffic, an experience of epic proportions. Seriously, epic.

8:15pm - Discovered that the overnight train was sold out. Stood looking around helplessly until, after trying to convey my predicament in broken English to a train station employee, I was dragged by the hand to an upstairs office where they sold me the last ticket on the overnight express bus to Suratthani and an accompanying ferry ticket to the island. Was so relieved I almost reached across the table to hug the woman helping me. Thought better of it.

9:00pm - Boarded the psychadellic-ly decorated Rainbow Express bus, was surprised that there was no disco ball hanging from the ceiling. Fell into a travel-weary yet unfulfilling sleep, tried to avoid drooling on my neighbor's shoulder.

6:30am - Arrived Suratthani, emerged stiff and bleary-eyed from the bus and stood around with the other passengers in a very fishy-smelling dockside waiting area. Could probably have fallen asleep standing up.

7:00am - Boarded the express ferry for an ill-fated 2+ hour crossing to Koh Pha-Ngan, story to be described in detail below:

The wind was picking up and the rain starting to fall as we boarded the ferry for our two-hour boat ride to the Koh Samui/Koh Tau/Koh Pha-Ngan islands. The sky had turned an ominiously dark gray and the rain pelted the windows as I looked around for an empty seat amongst all the passengers and pile of backpacks. As soon as we left the protection of the harbor, the wind whipped and churned the waves into giant frothy swells, and the boat began to pitch and heave. The horizon tipped wildly from side to side, tilting the boat like a Disney Land ride and sending people running for the bathroom. Most couldn't make it, and had to use the barf bags provided by the seemingly-unaffected crew. The two girls on either side of me took turns bringing up their breakfasts, and if I'd had any myself it would have come right up as well. I spent the entirety of the nauseating journey trying my best to keep the contents of my stomach (tea and stomach acid) where they were.

9:30am - Arrived nauseous, perspiring and white as a sheet at the Thong Sala pier in Koh Pha-Ngan, and I've never been more relieved to step foot on dry land.


and voila! Cambodia to southern Thailand in 24 hours.